You- message versus I- message

I-messages Sending I-messages. If expectations are not fulfilled, if I cannot accept certain behaviour or if I myself am in conflict with my partner, I can use "I-messages" to tell him that I am also a person with feelings, who is annoyed, disappointed, vulnerable. The I-message gives the other person information on how I am […]

Corkscrew Dialogue

Corkscrew Dialogues:                     Dive down beneath the visible surface of symptoms to the area of internal motivations, to bring old problems to the surface and air them    Example:          A woman arrives late. Her husband is ill and she had to take a child to the kindergarten […]

Meeting Conditions

Considerations on the meeting conditions Many meetings fail or become a breeding ground for conflict because the necessary clarifications have not been communicated in advance. Role, relationship Preconceptions about role, purpose and intentions remain hidden and lead to misunderstandings for others. What role am I acting in? What hat do I have on? The same […]

Meeting Preparation

Questions on meeting preparation What is the reason for the meeting? What advance information do I have? Is it about facts? What have I noticed myself? Is the information first or second hand? Can it be used? What information is based on assumptions? Which role am I acting in? Is this part of my role? […]

Self- Coaching

­­ 1. Basic feelings    Indication:                Conflict in the system (family, career, group …)     Goal:                X wants to be able to behave more flexibly towards Y, in order to remove the feed from the conflict which is putting such a strain on X himself and the system.     Method:   […]

Eisenhower-Matrix

In order to cope with the large number of tasks in a working day, the first step must be to put these into some kind of order. Eisenhower’s matrix is an extremely effective technique for this. The tasks are sorted by two criteria, "importance" and "urgency".       According to this, there are four […]

Personal inner drivers – test

Driver Test     Please read the statements below carefully and then answer how much these statements apply to you actually using the evaluation scale:    totally                        = 5 mostly, generally         = 4 a little bit                    = 3 nearly not                   = 2 not at all                    = 1     1.       ( ) When I fulfill a task […]

Personal inner drivers

Every person in our performance oriented society is influenced by inner attitudes, beliefs and behavioral programmes that either help or hinder him. In the minds of modern people there exist five principally hindering attitudes that have an influence on the behavior. These attitudes especially appear in distress and seem to be helpful, while in reality […]